Vincent and Kristen tackle one of the most overused and misunderstood words in family enterprise consulting: governance. What does it actually mean for families? Together they redefine it—not as bureaucracy or binders, but as the practice of communication and decision-making that works for your family. Drawing from real-world client work (and a few laughs about bad haircuts, weddings, and technical glitches), this episode reframes governance as something human, flexible, and deeply personal.
Kristen Heaney
Welcome back to the next episode of The Family Wealth Edge. Today we’re diving into a word you hear a lot in our work: governance. Vincent, you were one of the first people to get me thinking about what that even means. Because honestly, it’s not a word real people use. What is governance?
Vincent Valeri
It’s the industry buzzword, right? Years ago, one of my courses in Canada defined governance simply as communication and decision-making. Some thought it had to be fancier than that. My friend Matt Fulbrook—who’s been a board governance guru for 20 years—added:
“Good governance is cultivating effective conditions for decision-making.”
That’s basically drilling deeper into the communication side.
Kristen Heaney
I love that. The idea of conditions. You can think of governance as how you do what you do. Families all have governance—they just don’t call it that. Whether you chat about decisions in a hallway or have formal family meetings, that’s your governance. It might not be effective yet, but it exists.
Vincent Valeri
Exactly. And I love what you said—“what works for you.” Every family’s different. Some people over-govern—five people trying to build a corporate-level structure because they heard they “need governance.” You risk creating something that doesn’t fit.
Kristen Heaney
Right. The danger is they build all this structure, put it on a shelf, and never use it because it doesn’t fit their culture.
Vincent Valeri
Too cumbersome. And that’s what happens with some boards too—they bring too much corporate rigor into family settings. It turns people off.
Kristen Heaney
Then it takes six people to change a light bulb! The system becomes slow, not agile. It’s about finding that sweet spot—enough clarity to help, not so much formality that it paralyzes.
Vincent Valeri
Exactly. Governance has to fit like a good shoe. Each family has its own size and shape; it has to fit comfortably or it won’t last.
Kristen Heaney
Ha! My dad’s a size 14—across generations, you realize that shoe doesn’t fit anymore. You’ve got to resize it for the next generation.
Vincent Valeri
Perfect analogy. And governance isn’t just one thing—there are two pillars:
Most families overfocus on the first and neglect the second. Both need attention.
Kristen Heaney
Exactly. Staying connected across generations is governance—knowing who’s moving, who’s in college, what’s new. It’s how you stay a family, not just a balance sheet.
Vincent Valeri
Totally. Final thoughts?
Kristen Heaney
Drop the word “governance.” Just ask: How do we want to do what we do together? What works? What should evolve? Build a system that fits.
Vincent Valeri
Love that. And as my friend Matt said, it’s about cultivating effective conditions for decision-making. Add to that: practice makes perfect. Good governance takes time, patience, and iteration.
Kristen Heaney
Yes—phase one, phase two—you’ll refine it. It’s not overnight.
Vincent Valeri
Exactly. Thanks for joining us for another episode of The Family Wealth Edge. Today we finally made governance sound…human.
