In this episode of The Family Wealth Edge, hosts Kristen Heaney and Vincent Valeri dive into the transformative power of family meetings — intentional gatherings where families step away from daily life to reconnect, communicate, and plan their shared future. Vincent shares stories from a recent family retreat, where declarations like “I’m all in — and here’s why” turned strategy into heartfelt commitment. Together, they explore how families can balance emotion and accountability, treat their collaboration like a strategic enterprise, and build enduring traditions rooted in trust, clarity, and real responsibility.
Kristen
Welcome back to The Family Wealth Edge. I’m here with the man himself, Vincent Valeri, who just got back from a family meeting. It seems like every time you go facilitate a family meeting, you’re reminded of how impactful this time can be when families carve out space to be strategic—not just about business, but about family, life, and how they want to work together. Talk to me about how it went, and the power of these meetings.
Vincent
They went really well. What’s interesting about facilitating family meetings—and I think you can attest to this too—is that after the meetings, you’re pretty drained. The energy dips a little bit.
This was a two-day family retreat that I had the pleasure of facilitating. It was their first intentional “getaway.” They balanced fun and focused conversations around what their family enterprise could become, what’s getting in the way, and ideas for how to navigate forward.
They landed on some key commitments—declarations to one another about what to do next. And that’s powerful to witness. Yes, we facilitate, and yes, we co-design, but the family does the heavy lifting. In nearly 15 years of doing this work, I’ve realized it’s like a production: from logistics, to facilitation, to witnessing people push through discomfort in real time.
Kristen
And yes, there are often tears and frustrations shared in these meetings. But to see people grow right in front of you—to see an aha moment—it’s amazing. Whether it’s a small shift or a big one, seeing families change together as people, as business partners, as shareholders… it’s fascinating.
You mentioned they made declarations to each other. Can you talk about the impact of that?
Vincent
Every engagement is different, but in this case, we co-created recommendations for what the family could do over the next one to three years to build out their family office and define success. That takes commitment—of resources, time, energy, emotion—and it’s not for the faint of heart.
You’ll remember one of our earlier episodes, where you gave a keynote on real responsibility. You challenged families to consider what that really means. The same theme showed up here: it’s wonderful to want to be an engaged and empowered owner—but what does that mean in practice?
To achieve these goals, it requires a declaration: I’m all in, and here’s why. It’s an activity I run with families at the end of a meeting. Everyone shares their commitment going forward and the reason behind it. It’s like a pre-game speech—“We’re in this together, and we’re going to do this.” It becomes part of their vision statement and helps them move forward as a team.
Kristen
That’s powerful. In business, organizations set strategic plans—they’re explicit about commitments and expectations. But when it comes to family, we tend not to do that as overtly. What you’re describing helps families be just as clear, almost like setting a “strategic plan for the family.”
Vincent
Exactly. You’ve known me long enough to know I struggle when someone on a flight asks, “What do you do for a living?” I used to fumble it, but now I say, Do you work in an organization that takes its executive team offsite for a two-day retreat to talk about purpose and planning? When they say yes, I reply, I do that—except with family-owned companies.
That usually means brothers, sisters, cousins—every level of complexity imaginable. Just like companies, families need to say: Here’s what we want to achieve, here’s what success looks like, and here’s what happens if we don’t reach it.
Kristen
Right—the “real responsibility” side includes consequences, both positive and negative.
Vincent
Exactly. For businesses, that might mean bonuses or recognition. For families, it’s about relationships. If we don’t reach these goals, what’s the cost? Are relationships still intact? Are we communicating well? The declaration exercise helps families confront both sides—the excitement of achievement and the discomfort of what happens if we don’t.
Kristen
It’s a motivator.
Vincent
It is—and we’re lucky to do it. I’ve been saying it for over a decade: family meetings and retreats are vital. They carve out intentional space for real conversations about real responsibility. They create new traditions and allow families to grow together.
The family I worked with has now had their first meeting. I hope to earn the right to return for year two, three, and four—to witness that growth continue.
Kristen
Kudos to you. It’s a special thing to help a family start that journey and to give them a safe container to work within. Some of these topics are uncomfortable, but you created space where they could say, We can do this. We can talk about things we’ve never discussed before—and we know it will move us closer to our goals.
Vincent
And that’s what it’s all about—it’s better in collaboration.
