Why Advisors Need Their Own Medicine Too

Vincent
Welcome back to the Family Wealth Edge. Kristen, how are you?

Kristen Heaney
I'm good, Vincent. Good to be with you. Here we are.

Vincent
Yeah, it seems like it's been a bit of a while, but here we are. So, Kristen, for today's talk on the Family Wealth Edge, I want to talk to you about PPI and in particular, Rendezvous, because I know it's a conference and a group of colleagues that is near and dear to your heart. I'd love for you to share your experience with PPI and, more importantly, the work you've been doing with that organization—especially Rendezvous—and all the things you're bringing to the marketplace.

Kristen Heaney
Yeah, so—I don’t know if you have a space in your professional and personal life that you really protect because it’s so valuable to you—but for me, that is the week that Purposeful Planning Institute has their Rendezvous conference. Not only do I learn a lot about how to do our work better, it also ends up being a space where I can really grow myself. The way the conference is set up, there’s space to learn and also space to grapple. I was joking and calling it “free counseling” in certain aspects. I walked away with some personal-development takeaways we can get into later, but it’s both. Because our work is about helping others grow, it’s essential that we have a space where we “take our own medicine.”

Vincent
Free is good, yeah.

Vincent
And quietly and loudly, I’m envious and a little upset at myself because you and I have been talking about Rendezvous for seven years. So my commitment—I'll put it out there—is next year, 100%, I will be at Rendezvous 2026. And what you said about free counseling—there are so many smart, lovely, thoughtful people who attend. Why wouldn’t you take advantage of it?

Kristen Heaney
Totally. Well, I’m holding you to that commitment. When you go next year, so many people will be like, “You’re Vincent!” You already know a lot of them, and the ones you don’t—well, I’ve been talking about you, and others have too. It’ll feel like a first-time homecoming. For me, this year was typical in the sense of so much inspiration—authors you’re reading are on stage, then sitting next to you in a breakout, and you can build real relationships.

This Rendezvous was cool because I had bookend experiences that showed the range of mentorship there. In the opening plenary, we had John A. Warnick, founder of PPI. He opened with the starfish metaphor—the kid tossing starfish back into the sea—and talked about how our work requires “conscious naïveté”: not being foolishly positive, but still believing you can change the world. Many in our field—including me, and I know you—feel that way.

Vincent
That’s a different term. Yeah.

Kristen Heaney
Then the other bookend was Jim Grubman on a Fellows panel about well-being. He highlighted that our field could use more rigor and spoke about the placebo effect: roughly 40% of impact can be accounted for by the placebo effect—people improve because they believe an intervention will help. For me, that underscores why we collect pre/post data in our groups: we need to measure outcomes and base interventions on evidence. It’s hard for clients to navigate a landscape of “engagement services” without real measures.

Vincent
Yes. And jumping to the peer-group data you’ve been collecting for seven years—talk more about it, because it’s so important. In a recent FFI article with you and a colleague, one statement that increases the most is around financial acumen. We smiled when that popped up because we don’t overtly teach financial acumen. Why is that happening?

Kristen Heaney
We asked ourselves the same thing. I’m glad we included those questions despite not teaching it directly. The best explanation is positive peer pressure. For many participants, it might be the first time they’ve considered themselves contributors to the family enterprise—with supportive peers giving them confidence. That might mean they feel comfortable approaching family advisors for the first time, or they start reading the money section in the paper. It builds belief that they can.

Vincent
Yeah, it’s a judgment-free zone. They can be themselves, ask “silly” questions, and lean into discomfort—which, strangely, shows up strongly in families. You might not ask Mom or Dad certain questions due to embarrassment, but in the peer groups—and at Rendezvous—it’s positive peer pressure. I apologize for not attending all these years. You’re in a room where you can be you; we share a mission. In peer groups, too, we’re all here to learn together. You see strangers, within hours, fight for one another to be better. That’s what you’ve said about Rendezvous for years—comforting and motivating to be with people rowing in the same direction.

Kristen Heaney
There aren’t enough spaces like that. People are lonely; the stats are off the charts. Many social spaces aren’t authentic—especially social media. An authentic, safe space to grow, grapple with challenges and failures, and improve alongside others doing the same is rare and beautiful. So yes, Rendezvous for practitioners is analogous to what we try to create in peer groups for clients. We’re all developing well-being; it’s the same work in different applications.

Vincent
Different avenues, yeah. So—major takeaways? One or two from this year’s Rendezvous.

Kristen Heaney
Personally: In a session I jokingly called free counseling, we heard content then paired one-to-one. I was paired with a stranger. He shared about losing a family member; I shared some health challenges. We both had the same realization: I have to stop running from this; I need to face it. Now I have to follow through with action steps.

For clients: I had many. One in particular was on married-ins—a breakout by Lindsay Hardy (Sierra Legacy) and Nathan Duncan (ShareSafeSpend). It built empathy for those marrying into successful families and how to integrate them well. They highlighted biases among advisors and family members. A funny exercise: everyone wore a name tag that said “gold digger”—to sit inside the fear of how married-ins think they’re being seen.

Vincent
Yeah—it’s a big topic. There are gems there too. The wealthy inheritor gets stereotyped (we call it “wealthism”), and a spouse from a different background gets a different stereotype. All these dynamics collide as a family navigates the enterprise. I was speaking with Tori Holly this morning—we’ll be talking more about prenups and postnups.

Kristen Heaney
We need an episode on this. I’m married-in!

Vincent
—or as our friend Cindy says, “marriage agreements,” which is much softer. Kristen, thank you. Another Family Wealth Edge episode—this week we talked about PPI and Rendezvous. See you soon.

Kristen Heaney
That is much softer. Let’s do it.

Kristen Heaney
Thanks. We’ll see you there next year, Vincent.

Vincent
Absolutely.

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